LANGLEY AIR FORCE BASE, Va. –
Editor's Note: During the month of February, we will be honoring dual-military couples who work around the hurdles to make their marriage work. This is the fourth article in the series.
Balancing career with marriage and children is an undertaking dual-military couples must manage on a daily basis.
Master Sgt. Brian Griffiths, 1st Maintenance Operation Squadron maintenance management analysis superintendent, and Tech. Sgt. Jennifer Griffiths, 633d Force Support Squadron Langley Airman leadership school instructor said they can balance these responsibilities through mutual motivation and friendship.
The two met as E-2s, fresh out of technical school and new arrivals at their first duty station, Ramstein Air Base, Germany. The day before Valentine's Day, Brian and his friend James went to the enlisted club. As they walked in, Brian caught a blank stare from a young lady.
"I was staring at him because he was wearing my roommate's North Carolina Tar Heels jersey," Jen said. "She was a tomboy, but still, it was kind of weird he was wearing it."
James was Jen's tech. school friend, so he introduced Brian to Jen.
"His eyes looked so blue," Jen said with a laugh, "I'll admit I wasn't sure if he was actually good looking, or if I was just feeling lonely in a foreign country."
A couple days later, Brian and Jen met again at party and began talking, Jen said. She felt comfortable with him because he was down-to-earth. Brian confessed, at first he did not have any romantic interest in Jen, but he began to like her more and more as they talked.
Later that evening, Brian decided to go in for a kiss, and it worked, he exclaimed with a smile. Less than six months later, he proposed to Jen during Fourth of July fireworks, and that October, they married.
"Our families thought we were crazy because we were married in less than eight months," Jen said with a smirk.
Friends and coworkers expressed concerns the couple may have rushed things and worried their marriage would not last. Thirteen years later, the Griffiths have put those concerns to shame with a happy marriage, two daughters and successful Air Force careers.
They attribute healthy competition, communication and friendship to helping them accomplish career goals and combat challenges. Both agree temporary duties, deployments and permanent changes of station are difficult, but also help strengthen their marriage.
"It is inevitable one of us may leave for a TDY or deployment and upon return, the other is gearing up to go somewhere, but we work it out," John confidently stated. "If your marriage is strong and secure, the back-to-back TDYs and deployments will only make your relationship stronger.
"Deployments and TDYs can play with your mind, and create jealousy or fear of the unknown," he advised. "Jealousy is a form of insecurity, and you can't control the unknown. If trust and security are a part of your marriage, and issues are voiced aloud, you will stay strong and connected to your spouse while apart."
Unlike many dual-military couples, the Griffiths think TDYs are great. They encourage each other to have fun, and think of it as an opportunity to take a break from each other.
"Sometimes married couples take each other for granted, but when you're apart, you realize how much your spouse means to you and how much responsibility they hold," Jen said. "Whenever I go on TDYs, Brian realizes he can't live without me," she joked and playfully nudged him.
Balancing schedules can be a chore but constant communication, updates and teamwork help with that, Jen said. Career wise, they are honest with each other and help push each other to do better.
"We've had friends who weren't successful in their dual-military marriage because one spouse felt their job was more important that their partner's," Jen said. "It caused tension, ending the marriage in divorce. Brian and I know both our jobs are equally important."
The Griffiths plan to continue growing together as leaders and mentors, and to progress as far as they can in the Air Force. They think long-term, but also believe life is short and try to think positively, have fun and enjoy their lives together.
"I have been blessed to find someone who shares the same passions, goals and values I have," Brian said smiling at Jen.
Jen smiled back as she said, "We keep it fun and try not to take everything too seriously. Brian motivates me to do my best. He is my best friend."